Why aloneness is not something negative?

People always have this preconceived notion that being alone is a negative state of being. We live in a generation where being active always in Instagram and Whatsapp and being isolated from real life will not make you feel lonely. We also live in a generation where depression caused by loneliness among people is a lot more than how it was a decade ago. The perception of aloneness is something that would imply a man’s will into play. It’s not a choice we make, but an imposed state of oneself detaching from social world. 

Loneliness vs Aloneness

What’s the difference between being alone and being lonely? A person is called lonely when he/she seeks the help or support of someone else. This state of being is something where a person finds someone else to feel more secure and be happy. Unlike this, Being alone is a state where the person is all by himself. Aloneness is where you spend more time with yourself, find more about you, observe, think, and live the most. Being alone is when a person finds a lot about ownself. Loneliness is a gap, whereas aloneness is a state of completeness and fulfillment. Loneliness is a feeling. Aloneness is a state of being. 

We have tried to alter the fact by using social media as a mask, but the fact is fact, and we all know it. Loneliness is something like darkness. You can’t make the darkness disappear. But, you can bring in light to remove the darkness.

Why aloneness is important?

On the other hand, aloneness is something which is achieved by an individual. It is a composed state of a person. We don’t achieve something without putting effort. People see loneliness as something which should be avoided. But once you proceed yourself from the blurred vision of loneliness and aloneness and is able to distinguish between them properly, you know know how great the state of aloneness is. And it is so beautiful to experience it, to feel it, because it is your freedom from the crowd, from the other. It is your freedom from the fear of being lonely.

An illuminating depiction of aloneness can be found in Tom Brown Jr.’s book Grandfather. Under the topic of Aloneness, he writes

The chasm between being alone and loneliness is deep. The way you begin to be alone and at peace without being lonely is to know that you are with your best friend.

Tom Brown Jr.

The peace in Aloneness

Aloneness,  in contrast of loneliness, is not something which is entitled with pain or agony. Firstly, People can experience in a totally different way. Introverts thrive in aloneness. It is a state to have a company of themselves for themselves. It energizes them, makes them understand themselves more and more. Because, you have to spend time with the one who always gives you company, its you. Osho visualized aloneness in a totally different perspective. That is,

“To be lonely means a negative state: you are hankering for the other, you are longing for company, you are missing the crowd. You cannot tolerate yourself; you feel yourself intolerable. You are bored with yourself – that’s what being lonely means – utterly bored. To be alone is totally different: it is utterly ecstatic. To be alone means a positive state. You are not missing the other; you are enjoying yourself. You are not bored with yourself; you are intrigued. A great challenge comes from your innermost core. “


Rewind a little bit to your past few weeks. How many times have you been actually alone and thought a lot of things either long behind or far ahead of that exact moment you are? Answer yourself! Take a minute to think and after you finish, go ahead. Now, take the same situation again but then now remind yourself how many times you were alone intentionally and how many times you really wanted someone to vent it out, but then you were all on your own? Find, realize, improve, change.